Bees, Making Out, and High Temperatures

When Bees Attack
As many of you may be aware, Arizona is one of the places that has been infiltrated over the past decade or so by “killer bees” and this is “bee season” so one has to be on the lookout for swarms. In the past few years, we’ve had bees in our house, bees in our wall (both these swarms had to be removed by professionals) and bees in one of the wooden posts on our patio (I got rid of this one by spraying them with a bunch of insecticide, then cramming steel wool into the cracks in the post so they couldn’t get in or out). Because of all these experiences, not to mention the stories in the newspaper where people are killed by killer bees, whenever I see a swarm of bees swarming, I get a little itchy – which is what happened just the other day as I was preparing to turn into our driveway. I glanced up at one of the trees in our yard and saw this strange thing that looked like a bird’s nest, and I thought, “Hey, that’s a strange looking thing that looks like a bird’s nest, I wonder what it is?” So I parked the car and went out to take a gander, and when I did, I saw that it wasn’t a bird’s nest at all, but instead, it was a bunch of bees. They were hanging all over each other on one of the branches, buzzing around and squirming like an amorphous mass of, well, I guess, bees. I figured it wasn’t a big deal since they weren’t going in or out of anything, just hanging out on the branch, so I did what anyone of the male gender would do in my situation - I picked up a couple of rocks and threw them at the bees to see what they would do. When I hit the amorphous mass of bees, they buzzed a bit and flew around in a tizzy, which kind of was a scary sound, so I got ready to run for it, but then they settled down and went back to whatever it was they were doing. At which point, I did what anyone of the male gender would do in such a situation and threw another rock. Same result as before. At that point, I kind of “thought outside of the box,” and did what most anyone of the male gender would not do, which was to go inside and leave the bees alone (in case you’re wondering, the thing that most males would do at this point would be to throw some more stuff at the bees – or get a long stick and poke the bees – or get a can of WD-40 and a lighter and climb up on a ladder and use the WD-40 as a flame-thrower to throw flames at the bees – or get a pillowcase and try to capture the bees – all of which I considered but ultimately rejected by embracing my more feminine side). I figured the bees would fly off soon, but they were still there the next morning, and they hung around all that day, but by the following morning, they had disappeared without a trace. Quite an adventure, wouldn’t you say?

P.D.A.
No, this is not a story about a “personal digital assistant” (what would be amusing about that?). Instead, this is about the other PDA, which is, in case you’re not in the know, is a “public display of affection.” This all came up when Katie was relaying some information about a certain friend of hers (who shall remain nameless to protect their anonymity and spare them from any possible embarrassment) who, apparently had recently been making out in a parking lot (at this point, you’re probably burning with curiosity as to who this person is, and who they were making out with, and why it’s considered “news-worthy” that they were making out in a parking lot – you may also be wondering what parking lot they were in, though I’m not sure why since that really doesn’t have anything to do with anything - but we’re not going to get into any of these issues here, because I figure all of that stuff is that person’s business and no one else’s, and for that matter, I might be making this whole part of the story up, and there might not have been a making-out incident in a parking lot that ever happened, and the only reason I even mentioned it was because it served as a clever lead-in to the anecdotal incident that I’m reporting on – so let it go, already). Anyway, when our middle child heard about this possibly fictional event, she said, in that horrified tone that teenagers have at certain times (usually when they’re slapped in the face by the fact that adults are people too), “That’s ridiculous! Why would old people make out in a parking lot?” to which I said something like, “What’s wrong with old people making out in a parking lot? Are parking lots only for young people to make out in?” at which point she became even more horrified and said, “It’s gross. Like that time when we were at the Denver zoo and you and mom were making out in front of the penguins.” Apparently, this happened back when she was in 3rd grade, and she (and I’m assuming the penguins also) have carried the scars for lo these many years. I guess this is just another one of those incidents she’ll be covering with her future therapist at some point in her future. Not sure about the penguins, but I suppose it’s safe to assume they’ll need therapy as well.

Runnin’ in the 90’s
No, this isn’t referring to running in the 1990’s (or the 1890’s for that matter), instead it’s referring to the temperature – as in 90˚ F (which is approximately 32˚ C – which seems like it should be fairly chilly - or 305˚ Kelvin – which sounds really, really scorching). For whatever reason, be it El Niño or global warming or global cooling or whatever, it’s been a pretty mild spring in the “Old Pueblo” and we didn’t officially hit the 90˚ F mark until much later than usual. In fact, we made it all the way to May without ever breaching that particular benchmark (and we’re still waiting for the “ice to break on the Rillito” which is “Old Pueblo-ese” for hitting the 100˚ F mark). Anyway, we’ve lucked out weather-wise for the past few months, and have managed to hit nice temperatures on pretty much all of our Saturday morning group runs. It’s rained a lot (for the “Old Pueblo”) but always on Saturday afternoon or Sunday, so we’ve been pretty much cool and dry, which is really nice when you’re putting in the long miles (or any miles, for that matter). Actually, we just had our first real warm weather run (over 90˚ F) this past Saturday. And our final long run (the 20-miler) is scheduled for the upcoming Saturday, which is supposed to be in the low 90’s, so we’ll get a little taste of heat, but it shouldn’t be too bad. Anyhow, our group is gearing up for San Diego in a little less than four weeks, where I’ll be the official “Head Coach for the Desert Mountain States Chapter” which I volunteered for without having any idea what it actually entails, and which I’m a little surprised they accepted me for, since I’m the guy who couldn’t even manage to keep a mylar balloon safely inflated overnight when it was entrusted to my care. I guess we’ll just have to see how it all goes.

That’s all I have for now, so until next time may your temperatures remain temperate, may your balloons remain inflated, and may your make-out sessions remain your own personal business and not be spread all across the internet for any yahoo to read as they please.