Mutants, Mold, and a Cookie Wrap-up

Teenage Mutant Ninja Pumpkin
Every Halloween for as long as I can remember, we’ve bought one or more pumpkins, cut them open and scooped out the “guts,” carved various designs or faces in them, then put them outside with a candle lighting them up for all to see. I know this whole thing probably sounds kind of weird, and I don’t know exactly why we do this or how the whole thing got started, but we do it without really thinking about it. Over the years, we’ve had several “strange” or “unusual” pumpkins. Not because of their appearance, but because of something we discovered after bringing them home and starting the whole “cutting open, scooping out, carving designs” process. We’ve had the gross and gicky pumpkin that was so positively pungent no one wanted to stick their hand inside (guess who got to take care of that one) and we’ve had the really dry, almost empty pumpkin that was actually pretty easy to deal with because there wasn’t much to deal with. Then there was the year that Katie brought home an indestructible pumpkin. When I took the knife to it, I wasn’t able to pierce the skin. So I pressed harder. Still nothing. So I got a bigger, sharper knife, but I still couldn’t cut into it. I even tried various chisels and saws and other implements (though I never broke out the blowtorch) but that danged pumpkin just wouldn’t be cut into. So that one wound up getting set outside without any kind of work being done on it. This year, though, we had the strangest pumpkin of all. First of all, it was pretty big (Katie let Connor pick out the biggest one he could find), but the strange thing was when I cut it open and started scooping it out, I discovered… attached to the lid I’d just removed… are you ready for this… a pumpkin plant that was growing inside the pumpkin! Needless to say, I was taken aback, and I immediately exclaimed, “This freaky mutant pumpkin has a pumpkin growing inside it.” I mean, that’s like if a person was growing inside another person. Can you imagine such a thing? Anyway, Katie wasn’t particularly impressed (maybe because she’s actually had people growing inside her) but Carrie and Connor both thought it was pretty cool, especially when we found about six other little pumpkin plants growing inside the pumpkin.

Let the Games Begin
Our kitchen is now officially “under construction,” the first step being the eradication of any and all mold lingering in the walls as a result of our leaky pipe under our sink. So they came out and tore out one side of the kitchen, including the sink, the cabinets, the counter, etc. and did whatever it is they do to get rid of the bad stuff, and when I got home, it looked like that scene from E.T., the Extra-Terrestrial when the military guys put up the plastic tent and freak Elliot and E.T. out by acting all paranoid about infectious alien diseases, because the kitchen is completely wrapped up in plastic, and there’s some kind of really loud device whooshing away inside the wrapping (don’t know what it is, but I’m assuming it’s some kind of mold-killer – apparently mold doesn’t like really loud whooshing sounds - neither does Connor - hmm.). So we’ve got dishes scattered hither and yon, a dishwasher and range wrapped up in plastic and stored in our entryway, a bunch of food stacked on the one remaining counter, all of which adds up to a pretty big mess and the realization of how much you miss you’re kitchen sink when it’s taken away from you. There’s no telling how long this whole thing is going to stretch out, but I’m guessing it’s going to be right around 6 weeks before we get things back to normal and have the whole project done. And so it begins.

Cookie Update
So if you read last week’s entry, you might remember the whole Halloween cookie fiasco. Well, it actually got worse. I brought my cookies to school and set them out for the luncheon, and when I swung by about ten minutes later, I saw that someone else had gone to the store and bought – can you see this one coming – several dozen pumpkin-shaped sugar cookies. And these ones had orange and green sugar on them, so they looked like real pumpkins. Needless to say, only a couple of my cookies got eaten, and I’m pretty sure those were eaten out of pity by the kind of people who buy the most pitiful looking Christmas tree on the lot because they feel sorry for it. So I wound up taking the majority of the cookies back home, which was actually okay, because they were welcomed back with open arms by my wife and children.

That’s all for this edition, so until next time, may your pumpkins remain on the vine, may your mold remain mildew-free, and may your cookies remain crispy (unless you like them chewy).