Yellow Snacks, Puppies, Surprise Gifts, and Driver's Ed

This one time at Tech Camp…
Apparently, people who have actually been to band camp are annoyed when someone who has not been to band camp (like me) and who finds the phrase, "This one time at band camp…" to be mildly (or wildly) amusing uses the phrase as a joke. But, like I just said, I haven't ever been to band camp, but I have now been to tech camp, and this one time at tech camp, they served snacks in the afternoon, and everyone was really excited by the snack display because… it was all yellow! People came rushing into the room where we were working on our projects and said things like, "You've got to hurry out and see the snack display! It's all yellow!" As in, they had yellow food (e.g. potato chips, pinapple chunks, yellow M&M's) and yellow plates and yellow napkins and yellow tablecloths. Seriously, it was the most excited I saw people get all week (except when they were raffling off prizes, of course). I guess I'm just a stick in the mud, because I didn't get what all the fuss was about, and I didn't even eat any of the yellow snack food - mainly because they feed you a whole lot at tech camp, and I was still stuffed from lunch that day. But I did wander out so I could check out the display, and I observed that it was indeed all yellow, and then I went back to work on my project. But I did (and still do) wonder, why yellow? Why not blue or red or green? Still don't have an answer for that one, and I probably never will. I guess it will have to remain one of those great mysteries of life.

Maternal Instincts
My oldest daughter is currently puppy-sitting for two strange looking little critters who are very spoiled and very demanding, and she's finding it to be quite a challenge. As in, she gets really grumpy when the puppies wake up "unbelievably early" in the morning (let's define "unbelievably early" here as anytime before 7:00) and whine, screech, yip, yap and make other "let us out of our crate" puppy noises that impel her to get out of bed and let them out of their crate. "Why do they have to be so loud?" she asks. "Why do they have to get up so early? If they'd just sleep till 9:00 or so, I could handle it." Anyway, she lets them out, then shuffles back to bed to catch some more shut-eye. Meanwhile, the puppies do what puppies do, which is (in addition to making lots of noise when Caitlyn wants to be sleeping) to poop and pee all over the house. Which Connor actually kind of enjoys, because whenever he finds evidence that the puppies have pooped and/or peed somewhere in the house, it gives him an excuse to go wake up Caitlyn and inform her that the puppies pooped and peed in the house and she needs to get up and clean it up. Which she does while muttering darkly under her breath (or breaking down and becoming semi-hysterical - depending on the day and the amount of sleep she's gotten). I've found all of this to be tremendously entertaining, although I have to say that I'm a little bit worried about the well-being of my future grandchildren. If there ever are any, that is.

A slam-bang, jim-dandy, eye-popping welcome mat
Just the other day, we received an amazing surprise in the mail. It was a long rectangular box. What could this be? we wondered. When we opened it, we discovered a welcome mat. And not just any welcome mat, but one made out of organic fibers (40% coconut fibers - or maybe it was bamboo?) that was emblazoned with the letter "B" (I'm assuming that was for Bindschadler). Where did this wondrous welcome mat come from, you ask? Apparently, it's what you get when you buy a new car from Precision Toyota here in the Old Pueblo. Now, there are some people who would consider this to be a "free gift." But I'm not one of them. For me, it's kind of like when you buy something on sale. Most people say things like, "I saved $15 on the shoes I just bought," and everyone around them ooh's and aah's about the great shoes and the money they saved. But really, they didn't save $15 (unless the store paid them $15 to take the shoes, which I seriously doubt). Maybe they didn't pay full price, but they still paid for the shoes, so they spent $55 (or $60, or $45, or whatever the shoes actually cost them). This philosophy of mine, by the way, is not widely accepted, and it tends to drive certain people crazy (such as my dear and lovely wife, who is often "saving money" for us by buying stuff). So for me, the "free gift" wasn't really free at all. In fact, it's probably the most expensive welcome mat I'll ever own.

Who's gonna drive you home?
Daughter #2 (Carrie) recently received her driver's permit, so I took her out for her maiden voyage. Luckily, we have some dirt roads right next to our house, so we set off in the Dodge Caravan for our adventure. And adventure it was. If you haven't had the opportunity to drive with someone for the first time, I highly recommend it. There's a lot of toe clenching, neck snapping, and steering wheel grabbing as you struggle to remain cool, calm and collected. It all took me back to the first time I drove. Unfortunately, my parents never took me out driving (I'm assuming that their experience with my older brother was so traumatizing they couldn't handle any more) so the first time I actually drove a car (other than those cars at Disneyland that run on a track) was with a driver's ed instructor and two other unfortunate student drivers (both of whom has been behind the wheel several times before this experience). I told him I'd never driven, but he assured me I'd be fine and took me out immediately on the busiest street in the city (Pershing Avenue). Luckily, this was Cheyenne, Wyoming, and the busiest street really wasn't all that busy, but for a small-town boy like me, it sure seemed overwhelming (mainly because there were other cars on the street) and the whole things was terrifying to everyone in the car. I also remember that at one point during this initial driving experience, a squirrel ran out in front of us and I slammed on the brakes, which the instructor informed me wasn't the prudent course of action ("Run over the squirrel next time!" he advised me). So all in all, all's well that ends well, and we made it back home safe and sound. Now we're just waiting for round two.

Guess that's it for this time, so until the next time this little rodeo rolls into town, may your catch-phrases remain catchy, may your bulls remain bullish, and may your lassos remain strong and untangled.